| i guess this is more of the, depressing post. Im just getting tired of doing this crap. Living each and every day exactly the same. Wake up, school, work, hang out, go to sleep. Its getting old really fast. And things just keep going wrong. Im getting REALLY tired of being alone, relastionship wise, because i kno its good being single but its also good not being single. The past few months just seem like a big blur, i cant tell one day from another. I DONT WANT MY LIFE TO BE THAT!...its just sad. Some jerk once told me "These are the best years of your life..."...the best....the BEST!?...my life is going to SUCK if these years, right here, the ones im living at this very moment, are the best. I might as well kill over right now if its just ganna go down hill from here. To many things have already gone down hill. To far to even be seen...down mountain is more like it. Its just pissing me off. I thought a car would make things better. Dont get me wrong, it does but whats the use of a car if you have no destination? these days im living...im just living them to live another day. its endless....well...not endless. But its ganna take a while...i hope it doesnt though. These are just the days that are one to many.
I feel like i have no where to go. Here i have friends, dont get me wrong, but most of these people ill never even see again after a few years. Im not really close with many of them. A few i am. My long distance friends, i feel im becoming nothing to them. That they dont need me anymore, i kno for a fact one doesnt. I just cant reach them how i used to be able to. I want the best for everyone but im becoming useless myself. But maybe its because i myself have left my morals behind. I have my reasons in doing so. Sometimes when something big in your life happens, stuff like morals just dont matter anymore. Living doesnt even seem important so why would morals stand in your way? God iv lost everyone. Probably even god...
i need help you guys...im feeling like nothing now, i have been for some time. I need a hug, and not just any hug. You kno what i mean...it seems like it hasnt rained in years. |
